It's a wonderful day. The worst of the stormy weather missed us last night. The sun is now shining. Our travels are planned. There are too many wonderful things for me to list them all.
Getting older doesn't bother me. This year I'm 37. I have increasing strands of gray in my chocolate brown hair. Though I'm working on it, my body isn't what it was at 20. I'm comfortable with myself and who I am. Getting older reminds me of that fact.
Here's to growing old gracefully, with joy, and everything I need.
Do you have off weeks? I sure do. This was one of those weeks. Between infinite amounts of negativity on social media and news outlets and my own personal funk, I've just felt off.
Some of the fun: time at the pool, quality time with my family, leading a group of awesome little kids around for VBS.
Some of the crap: crazy stuff in the news (I need to quit trying to be an informed individual), social media (people screaming "think the way I do or you're ignorant, simple, intolerant, overly tolerant, the list goes on), and the realization that I need some alone time.
I feel somewhat selfish saying this, but I am one of those people who loves people but also needs some solitary time. I'm not trying to be rude. I just need to be alone. When you accept that fact about yourself, it can make your life a bit easier. However, getting buy-in from your loved ones is another story. It doesn't mean I love any of you any less. I just need my time to balance myself.
I'm fairly certain that my lack of me time is contributing to my funk. So, my plan is that although we are gearing up for a family (read: extended family) vacation, to work in some alone time. Maybe I can put in my earbuds and write. Maybe I can get up early and take a walk. Or maybe I can sit in the moonlight and listen to the waves. Not sure how I'll reconcile my problem, but I have a tentative plan and my immediate family who understand.
Wish me luck finding my balance and working in some quality time with myself.
Now that the Carley Simon song is stuck in my head, I'll write this post.
We have a camping trip planned for this weekend, which I am really looking forward to. However, I sit in anticipation of our trip to the beach.
In a couple weeks, we're staying at the same condo we did three years ago. I can't wait. The drive will be long, of course, but the reward will be worth it. We will get some time relaxing on the beach, are planning a kayak tour of the coastal area, and might even get in a day trip to Charleston, SC.
I love seeing new places and doing new things, so I'm really looking forward to this trip. I plan on keeping a journal again of this trip. I found I really enjoyed it last time and will share the journal on this blog. I'm also hoping some inspired writing develops from this trip.
Anticipation, yes, that's exactly the feeling I have. Once more to the coast, I return. I'm ready to feel the soft sea breeze, taste the briney flavor of the spray, and smell the earthy scents of the Atlantic.
I sit, the smell of citronella lingering in the air, and listen to the chirps of the birds and tree frogs while the highway is a distant hum in the background. Trying to read has been replaced with taking in my surroundings.
It's rained the majority of the past week, but this afternoon brought a reprieve as blue skies replaced the clouds. The weather is perfect to enjoy a beautiful Midwestern evening on our deck.
The deck, Mitch worked so hard to finish before the Memorial Day weekend. The deck, that had been standing for nearly 14 years. The deck, on which he proposed to me. The deck, that I enjoy so much and appreciate every year for the outdoor space.
The sun has now set and I've put my book aside to just enjoy this moment. The soft glow of dusk and the citronella torches lulls me into a peaceful and quite relaxed frame of mind. If I wouldn't be missed inside tonight, I'd be tempted to close my eyes and sleep right here.
However, I'll need to go inside eventually. Until then, I think I'll just sit and enjoy the torch glow in the dark, the symphony of sounds, and count the fireflies.
I survived the last few weeks of school. My family survived the last few weeks of school. I hope each year gets smoother as I get more accustomed to the routine.
I've got big plans for the summer. We've mostly finished our deck. There is some deep cleaning and painting I want to accomplish. We have a camping trip in June, then the beach later this summer. I want to try and get time to visit my sisters. Not to mention, I need to redo my curriculum taking into consideration what worked and didn't this year.
It seems these weeks of summer will pass quite quickly. I'm happy to say, I have already got some pool and library time in with the girl. She has some other things she would like for us to do this summer, as well.
Ah, summer. I'm glad you're here. I've been waiting.
I had hoped to get to more regular posting; however, my schedule at school and home has been nuts the past month or so. Between our MAP testing schedule, kiddos finishing research projects, the of the school year unwillingness to work, Gaby's birthday, home improvement projects, and life in general, I have had little time for anything other than what I need to try to get accomplished every single day.
We have just two weeks left in the school year. I'm so excited and sad to see this first year come to an end. It has certainly had some ups and downs; however, all in all it's been a great year! I keep telling my kids (and thus telling myself) that we need to finish strong. I know we are going to make it to the end.
Some news professionally, I'm changing to another school in the district. This one is a bit closer to home, so my drive will be shorter each day. Also, I hear great things about the school and the team working there. One other very positive thing is that two of my fellow teachers are moving there as well, and I get along great with them! I will still be teaching 6-8 English Language Arts, so everything I've learned this year, I'll get to apply to next year. I'm very excited to see what this change brings for me! Plus, I know I'll get to continue working with students who need what I have to offer.
One of my 8th graders commented to me, "Mrs. Green, you always seem like you're in a great mood. Except when you don't feel good--that doesn't count." I told him, "It's so much easier to be in a good mood every day. Being angry or grouchy is too much work for me. I like to do things the easy way." He just knowingly nodded his head and smiled back at me. This is how I'm ending my year--positively and kindly. I hope as the next two weeks wrap up, my kids remember me for my positive attitude and kindness.
This first year of full time teaching has left me with some apprehension at times. I put so much pressure on myself. No matter how many times I hear I'm doing a good job, I am still insecure and seed of self-doubt enter my head.
I know I've been called to be a teacher. I know I am lucky to share my passion with my students. I love my content area, and I love my students. However, sometimes I get so caught up in my own insecurities that even my facade cracks. I'm pretty good at hiding my insecure and only letting it out with the people closest to me.
This week, I had situations with several students that reinforced I am doing what I've been called to do. I'm teaching what I'm supposed to be teaching, and until I'm certain the signs I'm receiving show me otherwise I'm where I'm supposed to be. When I teach, it's about the students: reaching them, helping them, being a kind face they can see every day. When you see the concept finally click or when the child later thanks you for your patience and time explaining an idea, that's when you know you're doing right.
Wow! This show has me hooked after the first episode. I have two reactions to this show:
1. I love how respectful the show hosts were to all parties involved. I feel like that sets a tone of positivity for the whole series. I appreciate them and what they're trying to do with this show. It would be amazing if everyone could work together to solve their problems. Gosh what a little collaboration and open dialog wouldn't do for people to help solve problems.
2. Israel/Palestine is beautiful. Oh my word. I would love to go visit. To walk where Jesus did and visit these incredible places I've studied since I was a child, would be an amazing experience. As a Christian, I was moved almost to tears seeing this footage and the strife that exists in this beautiful place.
We will be regular viewers of this series. I can't wait to see what's in store.
Although not yet officially spring, I feel the change in the air. Early spring flowers have started to bloom. We've picked up some items for the garden and are prepping our seeds. Spring is certainly in the air, and after what seemed like a long winter I'm embracing the change.
I have two weeks and two days until Spring Break. The kids are restless and so am I. I'm looking forward to some time with my family and celebrating Easter.
I'm also ready for work in the garden--hours of planting, weeding, and tending to provide fresh food for our little family this year. I love the peace I feel when I'm tending the garden. It's just me...and the snakes, and the rabbits, and the bugs, and the spiders...enjoying the quiet time to think and enjoy being outside.
I'm ready for green and to enjoy with all my senses as the earth sheds the gray of winter and revives herself after the long winter slumber.
Ah spring, though you aren't my favorite, I have certainly missed you.